• Ellen OSB

22.04.20 | Corona Diaries | Angela

Well, we're still here writing these diaries and like most people I've had a few ups and downs these past few weeks.

Thinking every cough might be "it". Worried that everyone else's cough also might be. Missing my kids, particularly my baby's 21st Birthday, not being able to help my daughter and her fiance moving flat and postponing my niece's visit that was arranged for Easter (we were going to a Kidz Bop Concert in Glasgow, I was so excited!!).

Struggling with the new pace of life and strange dances passing people in the streets. Hibernating away from the news and the outside world to prevent a downward spiral.

Anxiety in the shops and not being able to decide which kind of biscuits to buy while breathing through a panic attack. Waking up in the night with all the negative things that spin round my head when the sun is down.

But these feelings pass. And the sun comes up again.

The sun is out right now and I have never spent so much time just sitting in the garden reading and listening to birds. I'm learning to be grateful for the time. Time to read, do jigsaws, to video chat people with no busy schedule in the way and wearing pyjamas until 3 in the afternoon.

Time to have a bath during the day with no chance of someone turning up at the door to disturb me. Time to cook unusual recipes, watch whole seasons of Breaking Bad on Netflix, time to be compassionate to myself and time to help out neighbours who are keeping safe in their houses.

Time to spend with my husband playing table tennis on our kitchen table and watching reruns of Police Interceptor.

Those of you who know me know that I usually like a busy schedule and pack stuff into the gaps between work days. I hope I'll remember this interlude when "things get back to normal" and that I can keep some of the positive changes I've made and slow the fuck down.

There's lots I'm looking forward to doing but for now I'm taking each day as it comes and being grateful for the time to just be.

Stay Safe x Angela