I was going to title this ‘procrastination’ as I should have done it sooner.
I’m a working Dad to three kids and have a responsibility to set an example to them and my colleagues, to continue despite all that’s going on.
Angela has been hosting an online workshop today on how to manage anxiety. I wish I could have joined it, for today I am overwhelmed.
Last night, I couldn’t sleep until 3am, only to sleep for 4 hours on the sofa. My wife is ill, most likely with the virus, and is having pains in her chest. Having had pneumonia before and ending up in hospital, it’s worrying.
We haven’t told the kids as the media has left them scared. They’re unsettled with the change in routine and I feel it's my responsibility to protect them.
Responsibility seems to be the buzz word for me. For my job, my family, my pets and my young people who need my support. It’s a lot.
My kids want milk with their cereal, but milk we don’t have, because people have panicked and bought all the milk. I don’t know what I'll feed them tonight but we have food so I’ll make something.
I’ve spent till 1.12PM today managing my kids’ learning. One has Aspergers, isn’t enthusiastic to learn, struggles with the change in routine and the noise of being with his boisterous little brother
I am so grateful to our schools and NHS for trying to keep a sense of normality going. It's not normal though, is it?
I don’t know how education city works, what my 6-year-old should be capable of, or how to use an iPad. It’s the blind leading the blind really.
So, have I really been procrastinating? As I force myself to reflect, I can see that I haven’t.
I, like most of us, am doing my best. I’ll continue to call my young people, offer WhatsApp video calls, liaise with our funders, try to be imaginative and reach out to those who are also struggling, offering whatever support I can.
I also need to practice what I preach. I will make time to walk my dogs, to listen to the bird chatter and to enjoy this special chance to be with my family. I will make tea for my wife, find that precious milk somewhere. Later, instead of typing up my notes, I will read my book and have a hot bath.
I am lucky, luckier than many.
The kids will remember this as a special time with their Mum and Dad. If that means their assignments aren’t uploaded correctly or we spend more time looking for Chewbacca in their cool book, than practising reading, then so be it.
I owe it to them and to myself to breathe in the air and not feel guilty.
If there’s a lesson for today that has come from my ramble, its; breathe in the (cleaner than usual) air and be grateful for what you have, not what’s missing.
X Alex